Rabbi Shafier

The Shmuz #1 -  The Eternal Nation

The Shmuz #100 - Keeping the Dream Alive

The Shmuz #101 - Why Pray?

One of the basic components of our religion is prayer. The question is why does prayer work? We know that God loves his creations and would do everything that He could for them. If a person were deserving of good, God would bestow that good upon them. If that person weren't worthy, then God will hold that good back. But how can praying - just asking, affect that decision. Especially, how can someone else's prayers affect my situation. After all, I didn't change, I didn't ask-- I may well never have known that anyone even prayed for me.

ThisShmuz deals with some of the most basic concepts of how God runs this world, and how prayer can effect life situations.

The Shmuz #102 - Learning to Love God

When we speak about Love of God, we normally think of some sort of elusive, vague concept. Yet not only are we commanded to Love God, the Torah describes this as something that will be effective in preventing one from taking revenge.

How is it possible for a regular person to actually love God, and feel that emotion so strongly that it will actually change his behavior?

The Shmuz #103 - Torah - The Key to it All

Everyone wants to grow. There isn't a person alive who doesn't want to grow; in fact this drive to grow is natural to the human. The problem is that we often find ourselves stuck. Even if we fully understand the gravity of our actions, even if we truly understand who it is that we can become-- it is difficult to change.

Yet the Torah expects us to change, to grow, to become a better person. The question is how? How do I get the strength, the motivation, the push to actually move myself from where I am to where I would like to be? Our sages teach us that the key to personal growth is Torah study -- but not just Torah study, specifically, toiling in Torah. The process of learning Torah in depth, learning Torah with exertion, is the greatest firepower to empower a person to grow.

This is a very good Shmuz for reenergizing our personal Torah Study.

The Shmuz #104 - Parenting 101

We hear a lot about the importance of good parenting techniques, and while these are essential to learn, it seems that there is more to being a great parent then being able to relate well to child. After all, there are many individuals who have good people skills yet make lousy parents.

In thisShmuz we are introduced to the amazing concept that Sarah Imanu wasn't ready to be a parent to Yitzchak until she was 90 years of age-- despite her personal greatness, she wasn't quite there yet. From this we come to understand that the true essence of great parenting is being a great person - the type of person that can guide a child on their path in life. Which then leads us to the critical question: how can I, a regular person, become that great person that my children and grandchildren will want to emulate?

The Shmuz #105 - Understanding Life Settings

We are taught over and over again that God is merciful and kind. We are taught that many times more that a Mother loves her child, God loves everyone one of his creations.

Yet when we look around the world we live in there are many features that just don’t make sense. There is pain and suffering. There are hurricanes and tornadoes. There are diseases and ailments; there are orphans, widows and divorce.

If we also accept that God is all- knowing then we understand that all of these features are part of the design that God had for this world â€" they weren’t by accident- they were part of the plan.

How are we to understand all of the suffering and misfortune that seems to be deliberately designed into the world?

The Shmuz #106 - The Power of a Tzibbur (Congregation)

The Shmuz #107 - Chazak!  (Strength!)

The Shmuz #109 - The Damage of Conflict

The Torah calls us a stiff necked people. It seems to be part of our very nature -- put two Jews together and you get three opinions. So how it is possible for us to live in harmony, as individuals, as families and certainly as communities?

We certainly understand the damage of conflict, and unfortunately many of us have felt first hand, the powerful downward spiral that occurs when human beings live in a state of strife. The question is on a practical level, what can I do about this?

The Shmuz #110 - Becoming a Great Individual

Each individual was created with different strengths and weakness -- One is wise and the other is capable, one has great physical strength, and the other has a strong mental capacity. One is a financial wizard but can't fix his car, the other is a great Talmid Chacham but can't balance his checkbook. Some people can paint, some can speak, some can play the piano, some can create, some can sing and some can write poetry â€" each person has his or her own unique ability.

ThisShmuz focuses on the concept that each individual was created with the potential for greatness -- but not all individuals have the potential to be great in the same areas. As there are different aptitudes, talents and gifts, there are different expectations from each person. One of the keys to leading a successful life is to find my personal strengths, develop them, and use them to accomplish great things. At the end of my days "They" will ask me if I became a great person, but not a great person as judged by the criteria of you, or any other individual -- the question will be did I use my abilities, gifts and talents to become the great individual that I could have become.

The Shmuz #111 - Sustaining Spiritual Growth

Any level of spiritual growth comes with a lot of hard work and perseverance. Oftentimes it takes months or years to change my outlook on life, and to bring my value system in line with the Torah’s values. Now that I have invested the time, energy and effort, and I have reached a certain level of understanding, how do I maintain it? How do I keep up the growth that I have attained?

ThisShmuz offers us the Torah's system for preserving spiritual growth, and making the changes that we have effected in ourselves permanent.

The Shmuz #112 - Kindness - The Essence of Judaism

We know that God is more kindly that any human being that we can imagine. God created this entire world with fantastic love and concern strictly to give to man. We also know that God created many features in this world, specifically to give man more enjoyment.

So why don't I see it? Why don't I see the Kindness of God? Why can't I simply open my eyes and be awed by the fantastic amount of kindness, pure kindliness that God has invested in this world?

In thisShmuz we focus on a concept of projection. That more a person lives a life of doing for others, the more they are can appreciate what others do for them, and the more they are able to sense kindliness.

The Shmuz #113 - Repentance - Two Elements to a Sin

As we come close to Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur, we focus on the idea that Torah expects us to do Teshuva. Yet for most of us, while in a theoretical sense we understand that there are areas in which we could improve, in our real mode of being, we don't seem to feel that we really sin. When we go to Shul on Yom Kippur morning, it is rare to find the person who walks in with this sense of the magnitude of his sins and the fierce determination to get rid of them. For most of us, we come to pray, we try to focus on what we can do to improve, but the idea of heart felt remorse and repentance just doesn't seem to fit in.

In thisShmuz we are brought to focus on the severity of a sin and its grave consequences, and our ability to use the system of Teshuva to rid them from our essence.

The Shmuz #114 - Creating a Balanced Self-Esteem

In today’s culture there is great emphasis on Self Esteem. Countless studies and reports claim that the basis of success is a good strong sense of self.

Does the Torah agree? Are there exceptions to this rule? Is self esteem really that integral to becoming a great person? And if, in fact, I need to have a high self esteem to reach my potential as an individual, how can that be balanced with the concept of being humble? High self esteem translates into thinking that I am very important; humility manifests itself into thinking that I am not important. Aren’t these two concepts in utter contradiction?

In thisShmuz we are introduced to the correct source of self esteem, its importance in success, and the formula for finding the balance between a good strong sense of self and a healthy sense of humility.

The Shmuz #115 - Preparing for Yom Kippur

While Yom Kippur is known as the day of forgiveness, there are two other issues a person should be focusing on during this day: Praying for all of their needs in the coming year, and asking themselves that key question: is the life that I am leading, in fact the life I wish to be leading.

ThisShmuz focuses us on the importance of all three issues, and gives us some powerful motivation to use the day to its fullest.

The Shmuz #116 - Growth

Every human needs to grow -- this is an inborn trait in the species. That trait either manifests itself in real, significant growth or it can be sublimated and channeled into other pursuits. When we watch people chase all types of new plateaus and never being satisfied when they attain them: The man who is constantly seeking to make more money, even though he already has far more than he can spend in his lifetime; the king who goes to war to expand his boundary, even though his monarchy is safe and secure, these are manifestations of the need for growth, incorrectly channeled.

The Shmuz #117 - Optimism

Optimism is one of the most essential ingredients in a successful life: Without optimism the world is bleak, dreary place - Life stinks then you die. And even if there is some meaning and purpose in my existence, the odds of my succeeding at it are very slim, considering that bad things are far more likely to befall me than good.

An Optimist on the other hand, looks upon the world as a positive place. People and events are inherently good, things will work out in the end - They have a positive outlook on life.

Yet there is a sense of realism that demands questioning such an outlook. After all, many bad things do happen: businesses go bankrupt, people get sick, and everyone must die at sometime. Doesn't an optimistic outlook on life run counter to intelligence? How can a person maintain a sense of optimism when often times it is counterintuitive?

ThisShmuz deals with the issue of balancing an objective, calculated view of life with optimism, and some practical techniques towards adopting a more optimistic view point.

The Shmuz #118 - Knowledge of Torah

When we have medical questions, we go to our doctor. When we have legal questions, we go to our lawyer. When we have financial questions, we go to our accountant. But who do we go to when we have "life questions"? Who do we approach when we have the really big deal questions -- questions that shape our future and the future of our families? Since the time we were in Yeshiva we have been taught the answer: Knowledge of Torah -- We consult our Rebbeim.

But the problem is that most of us don't have a Rebbe. Most of us find ourselves praying in one shul maybe another… If we had a connection to a Rebbe in our Yeshiva days, we have long since lost contact with him. The Rov of the Shul I pray in, may be a big Talmid Chacham, but I have little to do with him… So who do I turn to?

ThisShmuz address this very real problem in our communities.

The Shmuz #119 - Bris Milah

The Jewish contribution to the cultural, scientific, and technological evolution of civilization is nothing short of astounding. Whether in academics, politics, the media, or the professions -- from curing polio to discovering atomic energy, from Hollywood to Wall Street-- Jews have had an extraordinary influence on culture and human progress.

Between 1901 and 2006, 23% of all Nobel Prizes worldwide, were awarded to Jews. In the 20th century, 37% of all United States Nobel Prizes were awarded to Jews. (Even though Jews make up less than a quarter of a percent of the world population, and less than 2% of the US population!)

The question is why? Why is it that such a miniscule percentage of the population can have such a profound influence - even effecting areas not known to be Jewish, areas like literature, art, theater and music? This Shmuz explores some of what make Jews unique, and allows him to find exceptional success in all of his endeavors.

The Shmuz #120 - Torah and Financial Stability

Never before in the history of mankind, has so much been available to so many. Even in recent times the earning power and discretionary income of the average US citizen has increased dramatically. The typical American worker today earns far more than he did back in the 1950's. Yet, the rate of savings has decreased fourfold since that time. Even more troubling, consumer debt has increased exponentially (far outpacing the rate of inflation or cost of living increases) â€" to the point that for many, credit card debt has become a fact of life â€" they never see themselves getting out of it.

Why is it that we are earning more and more, yet finding ourselves deeper and deeper in debt?

ThisShmuz explores the Torah's approach to personal money matters, and gives us a solid approach to financial stability.

The Shmuz #121 - Emet (Truth)

Politicians lie, lawyers lie, salesmen lie -- but we are honest, moral people and we don't lie... Unfortunately, the reality is that the world we live in affects us, and lies - sometimes little ones, sometimes bigger ones, tend to seep into and become part of our lives. Reb Yisroel Salanter defines lying as "Saying words with our mouth that our heart knows aren't true". Using this as our gauge of Truth, we may well find that we bend the truth a bit more often than we would care to admit. This Shmuz introduces us to the Torah's definition of Truth, and aids us in becoming more honest in all of our dealings.

The Shmuz #122 - Parenting 102

For thousands of years parenting was a pretty straight forward responsibility. Society offered very structured guidelines for behaviors and expectations: Adult's roles were well defined, children's roles were clearly delineated, and throughout the strata of the community everyone knew his place. In terms of practical parenting, new parents had their own parents as guideposts and role models, and the techniques to use were time tested and proven - to fit that world.

However, we live in very different times. We live in an open society. Man has social freedoms that never existed before, in terms of opportunities for education - social advancement - increase in income - where to live and what to do - there are almost no boundaries. Yet, this new found freedom comes with a cost: gone are the norms of social conduct, gone is the family structure, and gone are the role models for socially acceptable behaviors. And, so, we now find ourselves in uncharted waters in the role of parents, without having a clear and definitive path as to "how to parent". ThisShmuz, the second on the topic of parenting, deals with the primary role of the parent, and some practical "how to's" in term of fulfilling that role.

The Shmuz #123 - Channukah: Who's Side are You On?

Chanukah centers on the ideological battle of two cultures: The hedonistic Yevanim (Greek / Syrian) Culture waging war against the Torah ideals -- the battle not being fought for the physical survival of the Jewish nation, but rather for its ideology and way of life.

We, today, live in very different times. We are no longer downtrodden and subjugated to oppressive regimes -- we are free to choose our lifestyle. And so, not only does Torah learning flourish at unprecedented levels, we have also created our own insular culture, and the Jewish nation even in exile, has fashioned its own way of life. We have our own neighborhoods and schools, we have our own shopping districts and clothing styles, we even have our own novels, music and daily newspapers. So it seems that we have won the cultural war - there are no Yevanim influences in our world -- and as such the message of Chanukah has little to offer us. Unfortunately, this rosy picture is far from reality.

ThisShmuz explores some of the inroads that "foreign ways" have found even into the finest Torah homes, and identifies the ideological battleground of our time.

The Shmuz #124 - Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

Do you ever get the sense that there is always something going on -- If it's not one thing it's another. Just when you have finally gotten one area of your life under control, from out of nowhere a whole new issue, a whole new problem, or a whole new crisis pops up -- and now a completely different set of difficulties have to be dealt with. Why is this? Why can't life just be simple? Why can't HASHEM just allow me to go about my business, work on myself, and use this life for its intended purpose?

In thisShmuz we are introduced to a perspective on the various situations that befall a person, and why in fact they are a necessary, integral, part of life.

A highly recommended Shmuz for understanding life, and the point of view necessary to make sense out of the "things" that just seem to keep on happening.

The Shmuz #125 - Business Ethics

HASHEM created man with an innate sense of morality and an inborn need to do what is right and proper. One of the difficulties of acting ethically is that in the slippery slope of life that sense of right and wrong becomes dulled. It seems that in the business world this is more clearly felt, where the lines between what is considered honest and moral, and what isn't, quickly get blurred.

In the post Enron era, when much of the business community is checking its moral compass, isn't it time for us, The Chosen Nation, to make sure that we are living our lives in accordance with the Torah's standards?

In thisShmuz we are introduced to an overview of what the Torah considers the ethical approach for business dealings, and how to conduct our day to day affairs.

The Shmuz #126 - Dignity of Man

While there is much talk today about the importance of self esteem and its effect on a person's attitudes and accomplishments, there is a corollary benefit of understanding the greatness of man -- If I am obligated to respect myself because I was created in the image of HASHEM, then so too, I must respect you, because you also were created in that same image. In fact, Ben Azzai teaches us that if a person wants to improve his interpersonal relationships, a concept that will help him even more than Loving one's neighbor as oneself, is this understanding that All men are created in the image of HASHEM.

ThisShmuz focuses us on the Torah's view of the true dignity of man, and the profound effect that this concept has on our lives.

The Shmuz #127 - Breaking the Forces of Habit

We are creatures of habit -- we act by habit, we react by habit and, to a large extent, we even think by habit. And, in truth, it has to be that way. If we didn't act based on previously established patterns of behavior, life would be unmanageable. If every time we turned a corner we would have to think through the actions involved, our entire mind's focus would be on navigating the basics of living, with no upper brain room left for thinking. For that reason, HASHEM gave us this ability to put things on auto pilot, doing many activities without even giving them a second thought, thereby leaving us the ability to free our mind for more important things.

While this reality is a fact of life, it also brings us face to face with one of the core realities of growth: our habits determine who we are and what we become. Assuming that some of my habits are in my best interest and some aren't, the question then becomes, "How do I change"?

ThisShmuz helps us identify those habits that affect us, and then defines the strategies necessary to change them.

In thisShmuz we are introduced to the vital obligation upon every Jew to be involved in Kiruv, and some practical understandings as to how easy it for everyone, not just the Kiruv professional, to have a profound effect on the people around us.

The Shmuz #128 - KIRUV: The Message and the Medium

In 1996 Gordon and Horowitz published a study entitled Will your grandchildren be Jewish? Their conclusion: if one were to view the Jewish Nation as a totality, based on ever decreasing birth rates and skyrocketing intermarriage rates, the odds of any Jews being left by the end of the 21st century are slim to none.

However, one category stands out in stark relief -- the Orthodox. Based on their average birth rate of between 4-6 children per family, and their intermarriage rate of less than 3%, they are burgeoning and ever increasing. We should expect that by the end of this century the Jewish Nation will be alive and vibrant, however strictly Orthodox. The only question that remains is of those Jews alive today: How many will make it themselves, and how many of their grandchildren will be Jewish.

The Shmuz #129 - Hakaras Hatov: Recognizing the Good

The Shmuz #130- Living with Bitachon

We know that everything is from HASHEM. We also know that we must do our part-- our Hishtadlus. In theory it is easy to find the balance, I must act in the way of the world, yet knowing all the while that HASHEM runs everything. One of the great challenges of life is actually personifying that tightrope walk between Bitachon and proper Hishtadlus.

How hard should I be working? How seriously should I take the medical reports and new findings? When is it appropriate for me to say, "I have done my part, now it is in HASHEM's hands"?

Drawing on some very inspiring examples of perfect Bitachon, thisShmuz helps us put our belief system into practice.

The Shmuz #131- Working for a Living

We know that we were put on this planet for a few short years, to shape ourselves into who we will be for eternity. HASHEM has created this world specifically to give us the chance to mold our inner essence. We also know that the Torah and its mitzvahs are the greatest vehicles of self perfection. If so, one of the questions that a thinking person must ask themselves is, why do we need work? HASHEM is quite capable of creating a world where all of man's needs are met. Yet, not only do we labor, it seems that majority of our life is spent earning a living. Why would HASHEM want that to be? If the entire purpose of life is to allow us to grow in spirituality, wouldn't those goals have been better met by putting us in a world where all of our physical needs were met, and then we would have the time and energy to focus on perfecting ourselves?

ThisShmuz addresses one of the most basic questions a Jew must ask himself: Why does HASHEM want us to work for a living?

The Shmuz #132- Purim: Being Human

One of the most difficult character traits to work on is humility. Not only is it considered the most pervasive of the all of the middos, it is the most misunderstood. On one hand, we are obligated to appreciate the greatness of the human, yet on the other, we must remain humble.

One technique to help identify the trait and its pathology is to see it in its extreme. Using the story of Megillas Esther as a backdrop, and particularly some of foibles of Haman, we are able to witness arrogance in its extreme, and thereby find its cure: the understanding that I am a human.

This is a highly recommended Shmuz for working on the trait of humility, as well as a good preparation for Purim.

The Shmuz #133- ReJEWvenate

One of the tools of a highly successful person is the ability to stay focused and motivated over long periods of time. Whether in sports, academics or business the effort and consistency needed to accomplish long term goals, requires a high level of motivation and the ability to rejuvenate excitement and enthusiasm. Often times the difference between one who actually reach great heights and one who doesn't, is their self awareness and their ability to marshal the inner resources to stay on top of their game. In religion as well, the same skill set is needed to maintain a high level of enthusiasm and focus on growth to prevent our daily actions from becoming merely robotic.

In thisShmuz we are focused on one of the Torah's techniques for staying motivated-- ReJewvinating.

The Shmuz #134- Parenting 103: Setting Limits

If you were to poll our community, the average parent would admit “we probably give our children too much.†And while this sentiment may not be clearly spoken out by young parents, once children hit the teen age years, most parents upon reflection would say : “ I wish we had been more firm with them when they were youngerâ€; “We’ve probably spoiled themâ€; “They would have been better off, had they not be given quite so muchâ€

We live in permissive times, and parents seem almost afraid to say the word “no†to their children. Yet intuitively, we understand that we are injuring our children by not being firm, by not setting limits, and following through with consequences when they go past those limits. The challenge for parents is to find the balance between letting our children know that we love them unconditionally and setting limits and educating them in our expectations.

Using the backdrop of some of the most famous personalities in all of history for reference, the Medrash presents to us some of the foundations of effective parenting.

The Shmuz #135- Imagination, The Devil's Playground

Eleanor Roosevelt has been credited with saying, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."The reality is that most ofthe battles that we fight are based on complex constructions -- created by us. Whether they be issues of misunderstanding other's motives, or our fight with passions and desire, or understanding our place in the universe - our fights and battles are very real to us.

Yet, when you try to explain them to others we often find, many people can't even identify withthe challenge nor understandthe temptation.

ThisShmuz focuses on the fight of our generation, andthe very powerful psychological forces that help createthe fever- pitched battle that it is.

The Shmuz #136- I'm Never Wrong

There is much truth inthe adage: There are three sides to every story, your side, my side and the truth. And, even though I fully understand that you might be making a valid point, as soon as we get into an argument, I can no longer even see your side because, of course, I'm right.

Why is that? We all make mistakes. That is part of being human. And while I certainly can accept that you make mistakes, it becomes very difficult to accept that I may be wrong. In theory I accept that as a human I err, but when it comes down to real life situations, I just seem never to be wrong.

ThisShmuz focuses on why it is that we humans have a blind spot when it comes to seeing our own faults, and helps us with some techniques to change that natural propensity.

The Shmuz #137- Being Sensitive

The Shmuz #138- The Potential and the Present

"Considering where I come from and what I've been through, I'm doing pretty well..."

While this may be a comforting position to take, the question a person must ask themselves is: is this really all that I can be? What if I were to stop making excuses? What if I was to truly hold myself accountable to live up to my potential? What if I was to go full blast - how great could I be?

This question is essential for growth, but it is also one of our greatest pitfalls. If we don't clearly see how much we are capable of, we cannot chart the course toward our potential. However, with a realistic view of where we are now and a clear understanding of what we could become might lead to depression.

ThisShmuz focuses us on maintaining a balance between the two views needed for steady growth: a clear understanding of where we are now and a vivid image of what we can be, even if we won't reach those levels for many, many years.

The Shmuz #139- The Power of Speech

We know that the Torah is very exacting in regards to Loshon Horah: there are 17 negative and 14 positive commandments concerning disparaging speech. In fact, the Rambam paskens like the Gemara, that the sin of Loshon Horah is worse than the sins of Idol worship; illicit relations, and bloodshed. The question is why? Of all of our activities why does the Torah see fit that this one should be dealt with so severely? What is so egregious, so horrific? After all its only words.. ..

ThisShmuz deals with the Torah's view of the power of the spoken word, and its effect on human relationships.

The Shmuz #140- The Arabs and the Jews

The Palestinians have aspirations of political freedom as do every people. Their requests are merely of sovereignty and political rights and of course, once they have been granted these, they will live in harmony with their neighbors, recognizing Israel's right to peaceful coexistence. Or will they?

An opened minded view of the current situation brings grave doubts to the true desires of the Arabs in general and the Palestinians in particular. This Shmuz focuses on some of the underlying causes of the Arab's attitude towards the Jews, and why Western Culture has such difficulty relating to the core issue.

WARNING: If your worldview is shaped by CNN you will find this Shmuz disconcerting.